Peter Block, gifts and guilt

I have the distinctive privilege of being acquainted with the famed management consultant, Peter Block. He lives here, in Cincinnati, and has initiated a series of community engagement discussion forums geared towards changing the nature of the public debate. Go see the questions he asks at his company, Designed Learning.

One of the questions he asks, which sticks in my head because of the nature of my passions in life, is "What is the GIFT you continue to hold in exile?"

The first time I heard that question, I felt like I had been hit in the gut. The question stripped me bare in an instant; I was guilty. Me, who has always positioned myself as a long-suffering martyr of sorts, felt immediate guilt. I knew at the core of my being that, because I had given away my power for so long, I had developed a passive-aggressive stance of holding gifts, talents, love- in exile!

We very often are taught that our gifts are not important. In this technologically crazed world, we are taught to zero in on our weaknesses and cut them out, shrink them, medicate them out of existence with surgical precision, and then watch for their return zealously. And we wonder why cancer rates are steadily increasing.

So to have a question that instantly a) made me acknowledge the presence of a very distinct and unique gift, and b) made me admit I was angrily, selfishly, FEARfully holding that gift in exile, out of sight and to myself, almost made me weep. Because my victimhood about not knowing my purpose, not being ALLOWED to do what I wanted to do by others, was partially, actually majorly, in my own hands. I was my own worst enemy. But with this question by my side, I had a starting point to begin anew. And so on those days when work feels more like Purgatory, and when the "self-help" section of the bookstore appears trite and useless, try Peter's questions, especially the ones about gifts. And begin anew.